This Little Phoney Baloney

I will say this phrase once, maybe twice, probably a maximum of ten times his whole life I am sure:

That is a mini version of me as a child.

I was performer, I would do what I could to make people laugh... I WAS obnoxious about it and I apologized to no one for it. It was my mission, and boy did I accept it with zest. But Khage that is the opposite of who he is. He doesn't want the spotlight and he doesn't thrive on attention... which is why this video is so darn priceless to me.

When Khage first started rolling over he would never do it on demand for anyone. I have come to terms with the fact that he wont show other people the cute little ninja moves that he does so frequently at home. And one day he will learn an instrument and no matter how much we beg him to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star he wont do it just to please us. He's not that kind of kid, he prefers love and admiration from afar, not all up in his business and out loud in front of everyone.

But that above, that's my boy working the crowd, performing that day only in a sold out car.

Khage & Harlyn

Today I was on the floor with Khage and my stomach grumbled.

It was loud and angry and Khage heard every bit of it.

He looked at me with such shock in his eyes, then pointed to my belly and said with excitement:

"Baby sister fart'ies!"

This is the first time that Khage has truly recognized Harlyn as a human being and not just this thing that is making Mommy fat. He hugs and kisses her daily, but this is the single time he has talked about her as if he truly understands who she is... his baby sister.... farts and all.

Where's the whoopie

Some kids have whoopies, lovies or blankies that they have to snuggle while they sleep to feel safe. Not Khage. His bed IS bombarded with stuffed animals, but that's because I place them there to add to the ambiance of a child's room. If one day they were suddenly missing he wouldn't loose sleep over it. But every couple of weeks without fail he will become attached to some new thing that he HAS to have. He will carry this thing around all day, never loosing track of it and when nap time rolls around he is ready because this item is held tightly in his sweaty hands.

 Oh these boots, they caused quite a few come aparts. He insisted on wearing them all day long then sleeping with them later. Call me a mean mom but I am not really that comfortable with letting him snuggle dirt and germ infested mukluks in his bed.

 

The one above is totally my favorite, what a little weirdo, he doesn't even look comfortable spooning that dodge ball.

 

That's a hot wheels car AND a pink stretchy roggy (froggy), apparently this was a rough day and his nap time required not one but two sleepy time items.
 

(Ignore the greasy Vick's vapor rub slathered all over his nose)

 

 

Every child is strange. They have these little idiosyncrasies that you either love or you cant stand. Khage has plenty of characteristics that make me have to work harder at being his mother, such as his dislike for anyone touching his hands (that becomes an issue anytime we are around moving vehicles). But this little quirk only adds to his delightfully odd charm. One day he is going to grow out of this and happily take his naps with nothing in tow and that day will make me sad. So for now I am just going to snap random pictures of him sleeping with random objects and love his strangeness with every bit of my heart.  

Our Little Family Christmas - 2012

I love Christmas and Brad is not a fan. He doesn't have a weird fear of Santa or any tragic holiday stories that lead him to this dark and sad place, he's just a Grinch and doesn't feel the magic like I do. If I pass anything on to Khage I hope it is my tan complexion, okay then I could settle for him having my aggressive appetite... alright fine maybe just my love for the Christmas season. I love everything about the Holidays and I think if I project that onto Khage enough I can swindle him over here to the jolly side, then eventually Khage and I together could lure Daddy over with a trail of snicker doodles.

 

 This was the first year that we initiated project Elf on the Shelf. He never did arrive with a bang as explained in the story and I never used it as blackmail to get Khage to behave. I know my kid is a terror and I'm pretty sure he knows it too, if a large sized person such as myself cant get him under control I don't think the solution is a miniature sized elf playing warden. And we also failed at having him come every.single.night for 25 days... uh that's a big commitment, sometimes I forget to feed my dogs everyday.

 

 And then there was Christmas morning. We let Khage sleep in our bed that night, it was the only way I could guarantee Santa got to eat the cookies and not a sneaky little toddler. And because I nagged him all month long about what Christmas morning had in store for him, he popped right out of bed and repeatedly asked if Santa came until we let him go down stairs to see for himself. I have to say it: BEST CHRISTMAS EVER. He had that magic in his eyes that I remember from when I was younger. He said wow as he came down the stairs and saw all his presents. He pointed and smiled when he saw the Elf hanging from the lights on the ceiling fan. And he opened all his gifts all by himself.

 

Look at that sad little poodum face. He didnt catch the grumps from Daddy grinch, I think it was my constant nagging for him to take a picture on his new bikey that caused that face.

 

 



Two Years Old

 

I never did discuss Khage's second birthday. He wasn't shorted on attention or gifts, just deprived recognition on our blog. He had two parties, one with each side of the family... we don't try and keep our sides separate, its not a racial thing, it just worked out that way. And he was spoiled rotten with gifts and a whole bunch of love. I could go into detail but instead I would rather rant and rave about why my baby is better then yours... I'm kidding. Or am I?
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Khage,

You always say bless you when someone sneezes. You randomly laugh at the funny parts in cartoons. You are so independent and yet sometimes you will just beg us to hold you with the cutest pleading voice. You will sit forever and just look over the front and back cover of a DVD with such curiosity of what the movie is about. Sometimes you say words that make you sound like a french guy (poo'poo). You are very bothered by messes that other people create, and often times you refuse to let it go until its cleaned up. If you say sorry for something you have done and we don't acknowledge you, you will come right over and grab our face until we accept your apology. If you know I am talking to Daddy on the phone you HAVE to talk to him too. You rarely need reminding to say please and thank you. The way you eat noodles is just about the cutest thing I have seen. And since you were an infant you have always fiddled with your hair when you are tired or just relaxing, and that my boy yanks on my heart every time.

Those are just a few of the reasons why we look at you with such love in our faces everyday.

They are the reasons why you get random extra hugs for what you think are for no reason at all.

And the same reasons why we thank God everyday for blessing our family with your life.
You are loved so much more then you could ever know!

 

19 Weeks.

 

You are a girl.
I cannot say it enough. Partly because I don't believe it and hearing it out loud makes it that much more real and the other part of me just loves to hear myself say it: I'm a Mommy to a GIRL. I will confess, I never thought I wanted a girl. I don't like a lot of girl toys, girl clothes are too girly for me and the idea of standing in line at Disneyland for princess signatures makes me wanna snatch a tiara right off one of their heads and smash it into a gazillion pieces then stomp off to meet Mater at Cars Land. Ugghhh, family vacations are going to get interesting.

But my heart swells with how much I love you already my sweet girl. You kick me all the time, never letting me forget that you are there. And I already know a slew of songs that I plan to sing to you, I have mentally designed your bedroom and when I think about bringing you into this world happiness wraps around me like a swaddle blanket. I cant wait to hand you over to Khage and see a new kind of love between brother and sister. But most of all I look forward to watching Brad grow into a new kind of Daddy for you; a Daddy that plays rough with his son but holds his daughter like the most precious of cargo. Because of you Harlyn we are all going to change, we wont ever love the same and the house will be scattered in My Little Ponies and Polly Pockets... I welcome it all with a smidge of fear but a whole bunch of excitement.

 



Driving Mrs. Daisy... to the BANK!!!

When Khage finally learned how to shovel food into his own mouth, I was so excited. When he decided to just let go of the couch and take his first steps, I couldn't have been happier. But when he got behind the wheel of the little Mercedes and turned corners like a professional, I was boasting with pure Mommy-Cheering-From-The-Sidelines pride. Eating and walking are monumental milestones, but driving a car around obstacles like the couch and kitchen cabinets at the young age of two... now that's a skill that makes me want to loose my head. Before I go any further I know I am not the one to thank for this skill, its all Daddy. But dang it my genes swim in that pool too.

As I watched Khage take a 90 degree turn, then another right after and all without evening kissing the wall with the red paint job I slowly began to understand Mrs. Bieber and Mrs. Spears. Before, I cursed the parents of young stars. Why take away their childhood like that, you should be pushing your kids to stay young instead of cashing in on their skills.

But then Khage practically parallel parked and I saw dollar signs.

I wanted to run right out and get Khage an agent and pressure him to try out for the Formula 50 Toddler Races. I planned to show up there decked out from head to toe in Khage gear and start fights with the other Moms. I was gonna be one of those Moms on Toddlers in Tiaras, you know the ones in the background arguing with the judges about their kids faulty scores. I had dreams for Khage and those dreams were gonna buy me a Cadillac CTS. Then he ran into my leg and it all disappeared... how do you not see me child, I'm your biggest fan?

 

 

Cute little car courtesy of Aunt Lissa and Patrick, one of the most amazing birthday gifts Khagey and Rex could of ever asked for. And just to reassure our landlords, he is not nicking walls or bumping into your china hutch. He really is that good!

Self Mutilation.

We're dealing with this already? I thought I would be writing this post when Khage was in high school begging us for an eyebrow piercing or a tattoo of his girlfriends name. Not when he was under the age of two and biting himself to avoid naps. A piercing... that doesn't scare me... it should scare him because I WILL rip it out! A tattoo, don't even come at me with that nonsense, I have hearts tattooed on my butt like a My Little Pony... I WILL show him and he WILL be afraid! But biting himself hard enough to leave marks that last all day... how do you stop that nonsense. And whats worse is he will also do it when he's mad at himself. Like its his own little creepy punishment. I am gonna say it right now, just put it right out there: This boy is gonna be trouble. I love him and all his little weirdness, but this? No, this gives me the willies.

Just Us

 

This was such a lovely night. Just us watching the stars in a sleeping bag on the trampoline. Khage didn't take a nap that day so to our surprise he zonked right out. No fight, no fuss. We both took a turn holding him while he slept, what a precious moment to steal with a toddler. In between my hormonal ups and downs I am trying to do my best to savor these last five months that we will have together, just us being a small family of three. I look forward to what ever this new baby brings to this family, but I will forever be grateful for the time that our family was just us and Khage. 

Mah'mellows

We are at it again. Potty time round two three or four, I'm starting to loose track. And I cant really remember why it has failed so many times or why we continue to even try, I don't care about diapers. Changing em...buying em'...I don't fret over it. The way I see it is this: no matter what I'm wiping a butt at least with a diaper I get to sit down.

Today he woke up committed to this cause. At 6ish we were awakened by him yelling for candy from the toilet in our bathroom. He rarely has any pee accidents since we introduced the reward system, a candy for every time he even sits on the potty and tinkles. He has taken full advantage of our kindness... I swear by the end of the day he has consumed almost a whole pack of starbursts and he used this method to polish off his Halloween candy as well.

The dreaded Number Two. That is what is holding us back. He doesn't necessarily poop in his undies he just saves them for when he's diapered up during his naps. I couldn't help but feel like he was playing us for fools. But then today happened and I realized we are finally going somewhere with this, and just like that the Mommy becomes the master.

I like to call this stage of potty training: Marshmallows.
Khage likes to call it mah'mellows.

Forget candy; its wrapped, usually of a hard or chewy consistency, so were looking at at least a minute before its consumed. Instant gratification, now that's a motivator and I plan to exploit it.

He actually got out of his bed during nap yelling potty while he raced down the hallway to find a toilet. At first I wasn't the least bit excited, a nap disturbance for pee pa'lease. But then I heard it... then smelt it... he pooped. And the minute he was done he asked for his precious little mah'mellows. So worth the two bucks.

 

After a while he was not okay with me and my camera robbing him of his privacy. But anger quickly faded into pure high fructose corn syrup happiness, and all was right again.