It's Potty Time

Im sure some of you saw this coming after my last post a few weeks ago regarding Khage yanking off his diaper every time he peed in it... but I sure didnt. I was aiming to potty train Khage years from now when it became socially taboo for me to continue to diaper change him.

Can you picture me on the cover of Time Magazine diaper changing my six years old... are you Mom Enough? I know I am.

But in all realness I am sad to see this phase of Khage pass us by.... diapers are the last thing linking him to his babystage. Where do we go from here? My fridge covered in finger painted pictures of turkeys and then right into shopping for a hotplate for his college dorm room? I'm not ready for this. My fridge is still too new for crafts to grace its luxurious face and hot plates are a fire hazard. Im getting off topic... but I find that it helps me cope with the realities of life.

Dont you just love that first picture of Khage all "ya I pee'd in the potty what of it?"

And now let me tell you how this event came about. Im sitting around and Khage comes over to me, yanks off his diaper, runs to the bathroom and sits his little fanny right on his cousins potty. Within moments he piddled in it. Me, I'm standing there freaking out like I just opened his acceptance letter into Harvard. It was amazing.

I do a couple "Khagey went pee pee in the potty" dances. Motivational songs are a common thing in this house, I can make a song up in an instant about anything and with an original tune... thats my gift and I embrace it any chance I get.

So after a few songs, an apple slice for reward supplied by Aunt Brittany, four piddles in the potty and a trip to walmart to purchase a 10 pack of so cute little boy underroos he was over it.

Done. Kaput. Finito.

Oh well I really do dig this kid with a diaper butt anyhow. See you in six months for round 2.

Clue On You

 

This just may be one of the most akward images I have included in a blog post, but at the end of this story you will appreciate this shot.

Now have a seat while story time begins:

I was in the bathroom blow drying my hair when Khage walked in. He just awoke from his afternoon nap and was working on rubbing the snooze out of his eyes, that was when it suddenly became aware to me that he was naked. Top to bottom... stark naked. Odd considering I put him in his bed with a fresh diaper on and suddenly no diaper was present... (cue dramatic sound effect Dun Dun Duuhhn)

So together we walked to his room to collect some evidence and get to the bottom of The Case of The Missing Diaper. That was where I found the missing diaper and inside of it was a very not so missing dootie.  Based upon the state of the dootie I concluded it has been sitting there for hours.

For those of you who didn't play Clue as a child let me formulate for you the scenario.
It was Khage in his room, diaplerless while he slept.

I confirmed this suspicion with the dootie streaks that graced his sheets and the large urine stain that was puddled in his bed.

And now we are working on trying to get Khage to stop removing his diaper after he goes to the bathroom.

Now don't you appreciate the image above instead of one from the feces filled crime scene?

Randomness.



Junk Yard Dog

Lets get grimy and practice some honesty for a second: Khage is a filthy child. He's the kid you see walking around the store and you immediately begin to judge the mother for not having the decency to clean up her child before she takes him out in public.

 Well, to you I say he got dirty in public and I don't have the room in my vehicle to carry around a portable shower. So get off my back and pay attention to your own kid, while your eyeballing me your clean sons over there eating his boogers.

Khage always starts off clean; we leave the house and I think to myself my how clean and 'dorable my child looks right now and then BAM within minutes hes grimy like a coalmine worker. I do try my darnedest to keep a clean son but its not a battle that I am capable of winning day in and day out. To be frank, my child looks homeless alot of the time and its something I am growing accustomed to. We cant blame his mongrel look on lack of washing because Khage honest to blog, takes more then one shower a day. Hes always climbing into the shower with Brad and I so technically speaking he is more washed up then New Kids on the Block.

On our way to breakfast yesterday Brad and I went to an auto scrapyard looking for parts for his truck, practicing good and fun parenting we let him come with us onto the lot instead of forcing him to hangout in the car with his Hamster of an Uncle. Yeeessshhh. This was not one of our brightest ideas yet. He was traipsing through mud puddles within minutes and having the time of his life exploring this trash heap. Why is my child such a junk yard dog?

This place was his Disneyland.

He did a quick inventory of the place: Mud? Check. Water? Check. Filthy objects at every turn? Double check.

And that's when I knew we were going to have to tear him away from the place while he fiercely gripped the entrance gates and tried to beat us off of him with random engine parts. That scene may be slightly falsified.

Khage in the Wild

Khagey got to go camping for the first time and I think it is safe to say this little dude had himself a good time. It was the perfect scenery for him, there was dirt to throw, rocks to eat and room to wander. The only way this trip could have been any better is if it suddenly started raining shredded cheese from the sky and he could open his mouth and catch it on his tongue... but if that was the case you would have found me equally thrilled and possibly lying in heaps of it on the ground doing the backstroke.

And enough of that.

Khage did alot of staring longingly at the waters but whenever we asked him if he wanted to go in he followed up with his new favorite answer to any question: uhuh (no).

So the staring continued.

And these poor little ants, he loved taking sticks and poking holes in their hills.

He was so infatuated with how quickly they scurried off in every direction.

Obviously someone doesn't know the meaning of a hard days work... soon enough my boy.

Fishin with Uncle Trev!

He hated wearing his life jacket... so again not much time was spent in the water.

Don't let Brad's form fool you the hook was caught on a branch under water.

Just to keep it real, this is the only shot of me we have from this camping trip.

Don't mind me snoozing by the light of the globuddy.

Cookie consumption at its finest.

Khage fake laughing up a storm!

 And what's a camping trip without a little jousting? Or fencing? Or hitting each other with large sticks? Gotta love these crazy kids.

Thumbkin

Khage is smack dab in the middle of that phase where I have to practice complete control and resist the urge to snatch him right off his feet and lay kisses all over his 'dorable face. All too often during the day I find myself saying "Khage, why are you so 'dorable?"

I know I know, I am spelling adorable wrong. It's this Mommy way of talking that I have adopted that has forced me to shorten words... which now thinking about it may hinder my child's ability to learn to speak correctly. I will own that issue right here and right now.

To get the full effect of his 'dorablness please focus on his fingers. He learned this little number in a few short trips to Story Hour and any time he hears that song, or  Frere Jacques which shares that same tune, he will immediately get his little phalanges moving.

If you wanna see the footage that didnt make the cut check out these videos

http://youtu.be/RQsqLcXFX94

http://youtu.be/KXPvqNfh_oE

Jump in the air high five to me and Brad for making this kid because he is top notch cute if I do say so myself. And I do say so quite often.

I am in love with this shot. That is all I can say.

Slip N Slide

In a normal family Daddy would bring home a Slip N' Slide.

But in this family Daddy brings home from work a massively large black tarp and makes his own slip and slide on the sloped front lawn. I cant decide if Daddy is completely white trash or just incredibly innovative with a large side of fun.

I assume he will eventually read this so I will go with the later.

And then there is the discussion of the Daddy's offspring and successor. You know him simply as Khage.  Who was happy enough to go barrelling down this makeshift slip and slide almost causing me to loose my hair. I am hard at work trying to remain calm under these forms of pressure; generating coolness instead of complete stress and mental turmoil as I watch my baby slipping at speeds faster then my casual jog.

 

 

 

And thanks to the sketchy grass growth going on we all ended up with little bruises from flying over all the bumps, but watching Khage snicker with excitement made it well worth it!

Click this link and see for yourself. 

Mothers Day

Yesterday we celebrated Mothers Day and there is a powerful gush of emotion that comes with such a day. Its a realization that that little being present in all those pictures above is MY child, my creation made up of what little parts of me I could give. He is my contribution to this world. My proudest little offering but one that packs a happy punch. Hes the first face that I see in the morning and the one who holds my hand through family prayer at night. Because of him my hips stick out farther then they used to, my monetary compensation has decreased dramatically and he is the prime reason that I try to be the best version of myself that I can be. Nothing has ever made me beam with such pride and gush with gratitude more then being Khage's Mommy.

Busted

Footage courtesy of The World's Best Daddy.