Gollum called, He Wants His Teeth Back.

It all started when Brad dared me to eat dirt. Normally I'm above those things but Khage was there pressuring me with his eyes; I could tell he wanted me to do it and I figured I could always use some Cool Mom points so I ate it and instantly he was impressed. And now Khage can often times be found in the yard snacking on some earth.

He will randomly walk up looking like this

and it takes me a few seconds before I realize that's dirt in his teeth and all over his face and not something much much worse.

 

And those my friends are the scariest few seconds of my life.

 

 

Just a Little Accident

Last night Khage wanders into our room at 2 a.m., stark naked and holding a fresh pair of undies. If your the parent of a toddler you know these signs don't add up to anything good.

First he made his way to Brad's side of the bed, so naturally I pretended to be asleep with the hope that Brad was gonna hop out of bed and handle it. But what I temporarily forgot was that Brad is Night of the Living Dead between the wee hours of 12 a.m to 4 a.m. If your not a barking dog or burglarizing our home then he probably won't hear you, sorry Khage.*

So I heave ho this pregnant bod out of bed to assess the situation. He either peed himself while he slept or was unsuccessfully filling up water balloons in his bed during the night. I'm going with my initial hypothesis: he peed.

Immediately once he sees the scene of the accident he looses it. He begins to verbally beat himself up, crying about how he peed all over his blankets and pillows, begging me to comfort him, and basically hating himself for what he's done. So there I stand trying to talk this kid off a ledge and reassuring him that it can all be cleaned up and accidents happen sometimes. This is the FIRST accident he has had in his bed so I'm not gonna loose sleep over it... and apparently Brad wont either. See what I did there? But the poor guy just wouldn't let it go.

I'm like can't we all just get along and get these urine soaked sheets off your bed.
And he's like down on his knees screaming whyyyy? with his fists to the sky.

My memory is a little fuzzy on the details but I'm pretty sure I nailed it on the dialogue.

And because Khage did not find any fun in posing with his pee pee sheets you get this image instead

*(Sidenote to burglars I sleep with one eye open and the gun is in reach so don't be so quick to label us easy targets just because my husband sleeps in a coma - I'm like a mama bear, I will handle you)

Big Boy Bed Making

Today Khage made his own bed. It instantly warmed my innards like a cup a noodle soup because he was just beaming with pride over his hard work. It was definitely not up to the Hilton Standard and I had to practice complete control not to fix it but it was just about the cutest bed making job I have seen yet. He had to climb on and off of the bed to get the sheets just right and every so often he would let out a guff of air as confirmation to how hard he was working. The blankets were left askew and the pillows tossed about all kooky, kinda like how Daddy makes the bed but a cute variation because a toddler did it, and the second he was done he ran to find Brad to show him what a big boy he was.

See that finished product? Simply perfect right!
And check out that face. He was so tickled a masculine shade of pink over his job well done.

But seconds later he was jumping on the so called made bed.

Oh well, such is the life of a hardworking toddler.

Are you really asking yourself "did she just write a post about bed making"? Absolutely!
Us Moms are easy... make your bed, clean up a dish, wipe your own butt. Were a simple breed, make our life easier and you get yourself featured on a blog post. End of story.

 

Easter 2013

We may or may not have gone over board with Khage's Easter basket this year. Brad and I basically went our own way on picking out gifts and once it was compiled together it was just obnoxiously too much. It was basically Christmas for this spoiled rotten boy but our hearts feel extra soft when we realize it is Khage's last holiday as an only child. Soon enough he and his sister will start sharing the holiday fund and they will basically wake up to half empty baskets with only jellybeans in 'em and maybe one of those headbands with bunny ears on it to share.

 

Sadly Brad and I were both sick with the flu so all of our planned festivities with the family got canceled and we were left to celebrate this Holiday on our own. So instead we just let Khage consume more then half of his chocolate trout before 8am, and then we proceeded to watch movies all morning and lounge about in our jamas.

 

That was until Gnama and Pompa saved Khage from us and took him to a few parks, spoiled him with attention and fed him a delicious dinner that included a chocolate milkshake. We cannot say enough how grateful we are for them doing so, nothing keeps you sick longer then having to chase around a rambunctious toddler and boy does he love his own time with his Grandparents...

thanks AGAIN and AGAIN Mom & Dad!!! 

I think my favorite moment of Easter was when Khage got a real Lightening McQueen car. Let me give you a background story: Khage loves the Cars movies and one random day he found a red hot wheels car at the park and because we didn't want to have to buy him a Lightening McQueen car to satisfy his newest obsession we just started telling him that red car was McQueen. Cruel parenting I know. So once he saw the REAL McQueen in his basket he immediately realized the old one was a counterfeit and stated with a look of disgrace, that he wanted to throw it in the trash... and frankly I haven't seen it since.

 

So that completes the last Holiday post from our little family of three.